The Sibling Bond

Siblings out playing together, laughing together, genuinely enjoying the same interests…..When I see that, it highlights that this has never really been the case for us.
It makes me reflect that whilst my boys are kind, caring, and respectful to each other – they’ve never really had that brotherly play.
Ryder really craved it when they were younger, but over the years he has realised and accepted it’s not how Will works. It’s not what Will gets enjoyment out of. Many a times Ryder would invite Will into his play interests and games, and it would last 10minutes at most, before Will was needing to switch back to his bubble.
And then over time…. Ryder stopped asking.
As their mother, I always felt so torn, so exhausted and so hopeful that their time together would grow.
But the truth is, they never instigated the play together. I always tried to make it happen. For their connection, but also for my own idea of what I thought they needed. To be honest…. It can get really exhausting trying to come up with interests and moments that they both find fun and engaging.
Sensory overload, one of the many things that we always have to be mindful of with Will never leaves us as well.
Will wants to drive through certain roads, visit local tunnels, and google where we could go and play claw machines. Ryder wants to play soccer, ran laps and hang from the monkey bars. I cannot do both things well… at the same time… with them both yelling for my attention. I am tired when we get home yet feel like I haven’t had quality time with them both.
Separate time with each of them? Yes, we try and do that, and I find the enjoyment levels are increased because they’re doing what they love, with undivided attention.
This isn’t a sympathy post, and this isn’t me being ungrateful… It’s simply the truth, and sometimes the truth can hurt.
Sometimes the reality and vulnerability we go through as parents to a child with a disability weigh on you heavily.
And sometimes, it’s just me…. As their mother….. doing all I can to accommodate their love and attention in completely different ways.
Julia Ryan
Founder - William Ready 

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